So I'm not very happy tonight. I'm in this funny halfway place at work, where I'm Sales but I'm working with the Production and Quality Control guys, and I'm on one project, but the majority of work I actually get completed is for a different project, one I'm not actually directly attached to, so it takes me twice as long to get anything done on it, because I don't know jack about it. Then the guys I'm working with get pissed because all my time is taken up on this other thing, and they don't give me any work to do because they don't think I can cover it, which just makes me focus more on the other stuff, and them angrier. It culminated today in a mass ignoring session, where they decided I was almost on the bench for the whole thing. I couldn't let it slide - it was all really childish - and brought it up in dinner for a big heart-to-heart, where they slowly outlined and cut down my pride in a series of constructive criticisms.
The horrible thing is, they couldn't be more right and more wrong at the same time, and try explaining all that in a different language to guys old enough to be your father. I'd rather try my chances at a Vegas craps table.
It's true, if you compare me to anyone in the company (or any Japanese over the age of 15), I'm horrible at the Japanese part of my job. Research in English is hard enough - try it in an Asian language and watch your confidence plummet like a flying whale. So I end up asking questions instead of looking information up, which leads to asking what seem like lots of pointless questions. But its either that or spend 5 hours trying to find a symbol in 18 pages of symbols. So I need to get better, but I'll only do so if they rely on me more, and they won't until I get better. Curse of the novice. Its a well you have to work your ass off to get out of, but its a lonely process in this case.
Sometimes I wish there was another guy who sucked at Japanese as much as me in the company. The Chinese guys aren't perfect, but its not their position to be so. You could say its not mine either, but most of my work isn't talking to Americans, its talking to Japanese.
My seniors aren't bad guys. They just need to stop carrying me and then getting angry when I can't walk. But it's hard for them too. They've never been through this either.
Work sucks eh?
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