Saturday, January 26, 2008

Yesterday's Shisha in Shinsaibashi

I had work today (being Saturday), which is once-a-month thing. I'm hardly going to let that ruin my Friday nights though.
There's a great bar in Shinsaibashi (the young clubbing area of Osaka, with a primarily Hip-hop/Reggaeton base) called Cafe Absinthe, a bar/cafe that serves the deadly drink for about 9 bucks, in a plethora of different forms. Tastefully done the stuff is nice, but you don't want to lose control when you're working with absinthe. The body has a habit of treating it like paint thinner (which it could be used for).

The place also serves shisha, also known as hookah or a thousand other names depending on the Asian country. All of them refer to the water-based pipe (a "bong" if you're crude) which uses a flavoured mix without the tar and most of the nicotine of tobacco (now this IS a topic I've wiki-ed). More than getting a buzz from the hookah (there is a mild one), its a very social activity, keeping your hands busy and involving interaction while you chat about whatever it is drunk social people talk about. Puppies and rainbows.

Here's some vids of said Shisha smoking:

Monday, January 21, 2008

Hypnotise Me

More like hypno-lies. But hypnosis is real...
Recently I was in America for the New Years break, hitting the proverbial two birds with one stone in visiting some business contacts while hanging out with Mio, who is over there for her exchange. See Mio's blog on my links list on the right if you can read Japanese. Or you could just look at the pretty pictures.

Part of this trip included a road trip to Vegas (5 hours up, 5 hours back from San Diego) for a one night stay, to attend the Consumer Electronics Show being held over that week. Long way to go for only half a day at a show, which was only topped in redundancy by the fact that I got drunk and didn't manage to attend. Isn't that awesome? Only the second time that alcohol has prevented me from doing my job. The other one was because 3 guys I met at a Tool concert missed their last train, came and stayed at my house and along the way we accidentally got really trashed and they ran off into the wilderness of central Osaka, me running after them like an angry chaperone. In the end I couldn't round them all up, thought to myself "Screw this, they can get lost in the middle of nowhere if they want" and went home. By now it was 3am and I woke up 4 hours later with my head rent in two by a fantastic hangover, but that's old news.

Back to Vegas. I thought I was there a good 50miles before I was, thanks to all the casinos close to the Nevada/California border that try to cash in on the customers who want to gamble, but can't wait. I was then welcomed a good 20miles out of the city by billboard after wonderful billboard, proclaiming I must go see this or that country singer or Cirque de Soleil show (there were 3 CdS shows happening at different casinos). Nearly missed my exit, I was getting so fed up with being-but-not-being in the city. After cruising the Circus Circus parking lot looking like a paedophile, I finally found the place I was looking for on the 3rd pass - a high rise condo-complex at the end of the notorious Strip, where my "host" awaited.

During the course of the evening whenever anyone I spoke to asked me where I was staying, my reply of "crashing with a guy from the internet I've never met" brought a more or less consistent reaction of mild horror. "Oh, don't worry, I know about 'Stranger Danger'" didn't relieve this (Americans don't know the phrase 'Stranger Danger', but I've convinced at least half a dozen to use it with their kids). Certainly, images of serial killer sadistic Germans do tend to pop up when you say "met on the net" (I have nothing against Germans beside their stereotypical bluntness, but there was that story years ago of the man in Deutschland who met a guy and let him kill and eat him...). Anyway, let me explain to you about a wonderful thing that was thought to have died years ago, but still lives on in little corners of this world; I'm talking about the kindness of human beings.

An impressive portion of this "kindness" can be found in one of my favourite websites, CouchSurfing.com. This NPO is designed to hook backpackers up with places to stay (at no cost, and subsequently no promises on the quality of bedding) in the countries they are visiting, and likewise a chance for hosts to meet interesting people, hang out and generally be social being, all while racking up the brownie points.
Unlike most virtual communities, this one has a genuine equivalent community in real life too. I've hosted half a dozen people so far, from Canada, England, America, Australia and as far out as Finland. I've also hung withhttp://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=31737511&postID=8271433228643847145
Blogger: Machine Gun Sarariman - Edit Post "Hypnotise Me" guys in China through it - you don't even have to host or be hosted, just using it to meet people in cities is cool. They've all been good jokers too - not everyone is like me, but they're all positive and polite and enthusiastic individuals. It's as though all the laid-back awesome people on the net all accumulated in one spot.
Security isn't heavily enforced, but it unofficially operates on a "he's with me" system (much like how members hear about it in the first place). Everyone knows someone on the site, so if you're paranoid you can background check their mates and references. Hearsay is there are a few bad experiences kicking around, but if you compare the amount of people who met dodgy individuals in bars or events and got into trouble when they went to crash with them, it's like car crashes and lightning strikes. With 325,000 successful hook-ups since mid 2006 (and 420,000 users), it's done well for itself. I'd like to see it grow, but I think if it ever got to facebook proportions (57million), then it may lose a part of the community vibe.
For my first "surfing" experience (I'd only hosted until Vegas), I stayed with an interesting bloke named Ivan, a Brit who has lived in Vegas for a few years, living it up and making money gambling (though, ironically, not in casinos but on the internet). He was nice enough to put me up, tell me what shows were playing and give me details on the one I wanted to see (The Amazing Jonathan!), drive me around and then poke me in the direction of the Venetian (the largest hotel in the world).
How could I repay him? Well, letting him hypnotise me might be a start.

Hypnosis isn't something I've wiki-ed before, but my first impression is less that it's fake, and more that hypnotists have a strange sense of humour. I don't find making someone make an ass of themself that funny - probably the same reason I don't like candid camera shows. I prefer letting people do it of their own accord - and its not like there's a shortage of that in the world. However the act of hypnosis is something that sparked my curiousity, made me say "sure, I'm game." Wouldn't you like to know what it's like to be hypnotised?

After the experience, I'm still not sure I can tell you. As in, I'm still not entirely sure if it worked. Whether it was because he was short for time so he rushed me through, or that I was one of the small percentage it doesn't fully work on, I'm not sure, but I think it was the former. Hypnosis itself is not mind control, its more like the power of suggestivity. It turns off your conscious mind and lets your sub-conscious do the driving. A hypnotist can't make someone do something they don't want to do. "When you wake up you will give me a blow-job" won't work until that was on their mind in the first place.
Ivan told me to relax, close my eyes and feel myself falling away. Soon my level of perception with the outside world was limited to his voice, though at no point in time did I losing consciousness. Once my REM came up he started to tell me to do certain things or act certain ways. It felt like I could "snap out of it" any time I wanted to, but a) I didn't, I wanted it to work, and b) I did experiment with that idea, and it felt like I was loosely bound by my own will. He told me that if I tried to open my eyes, they would feel like they were glued shut. Low and behold, that's exactly how I felt.

So it worked? I still don't know. But here's how it went:
First task: He woke me up, but not before telling me I would forget the number 3. He got me to count to 5, and the first time with some hesitation I said "three" correctly. The following times I only got to "th". It was strange, because it was less like I forgot it and more like I forgot how to say it. My head said three, but my mouth didn't.
Second task: This time it was forgetting my own name. Again, I had trouble but it wasn't completely gone. When he said "its not Tim is it?", my head said a combination of "yeah, I'm aware it's Tim" and "That rings a bell, but was it my name?"
Third task: This one was interesting, and makes me wonder if I was going deeper, or if I just know how to make stuff up on the spot. "You are the worlds biggest, and also worst, liar." Subsequent drilled questions about names, gender, body parts and favourite countries ("Alaska") were all met with fast-flowing lies without hesitation on my part. He had told me that when I told a lie, I would feel good. No doubt, telling him his hand was a foot somehow satisfied me immensely.
Final Task: This one also went well: "You're competing in a dance competition, and if you win you'll get a million dollars. The more you dance, the more you know you're going to win" Perhaps this worked because I willing dance anywhere with or without instruction, but I must admit my performance was one that even a drunk me would have trouble pulling off. Dance moves I wouldn't touch in real life came out. He suddenly stopped the music and asked me why I was dancing. I think he was expecting "to win!", but I blurted out "Because you told me to."

See, the power of suggestivity that hypnosis is supposed to invoke was there, but I was always aware that it was someone telling me what to do, rather than myself. And that's why I'm not so sure if it counts. I'm keen to give it another go though - just so long as it's not some creep on stage telling me to fondle an old guy's ass.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

No More Scrabulous?

Sure I'm winning, but it's his turn...
I wonder if the health insurance ad is a sign Google thinks
I'm going to need depression meds after Greg kicks my ass?


Man, I'm really sick of the words "copyright infringement".
Scrabulous, the addictive scrabble-knock-off that is consuming all my free time at work has come under threat of lawsuit by toy giants Hasbro & Mattel for violating copyright laws(article here).
What I find surprising is that it seems they want the game removed, rather than asking for a percentage of profits from advertising, though they may have and Reuters might have left that out.

Scrabble is a classic game that is undergoing a Renaissance at the moment thanks to the beauty of online gaming. I can only see the game boosting sales of the live board version, as it grows a new young audience who might like to play in real life. I'm sure Microsoft's Internet Hearts never brought ire from playing card companies. Just feels like a bit of tall poppy syndrome. The first thing I'd be thinking if I owned the rights would be "alright, lets make ourselves some money off this thing."

FYI, my best bingo so far was SATIABLY for 92 points. I've played 6 games without loss (though Greg here threatens that), and am currently winning 4 of my 5 active games. Scrabulous is fun, by far the best game application on Facebook, and you'd hope Hasbro & Mattel aren't going to spoil the party just because they weren't invited originally.
If you're on Facebook, I'm up for a game when you are.

The More Sin, The Heavier Something Is.

This is the most fun I've had laughing at stupid people in a while.
Sure, scientists can't explain the creation of the world, but saying gravity doesn't exist is just giving your kind a bad name.
Disclaimer: I don't dislike religion. I dislike dumb people. Well, actually, I find them severely entertaining. As long as you don't tell me what to believe, then you're entitled to your own.

Other quotes of note: (with additional Japanese translation, because I care)


If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. もし物の重量は他の物に影響があったら、何で山の周りに人が周回するでしょう。

Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life." 「ダーリン、また妊娠できちゃった。さぁ、また捨てますよ。だって、胎児が人間じゃないからね?」

Most afflictions like this (mental disability) are caused by sins committed while still inside the womb. こういう風な障害はほとんど子宮にいる間罪をすることの原因です。

I often debate with evolutionists because I believe that they are narrow mindedly and dogmatically accepting evolution without questioning it. I don't really care how God did what He did. I know He did it.進化論を信じてる人たちとよくケンカする。彼らが偏狭で、進化論を一回も疑えせずに信じます。僕の場合、神様がどうやって世界を作ったと知りたくない。もうきっと神様がやったと分かっています。(矛盾!)

What does a functioning brain have to do with the Bible? ちゃんと動いている脳が聖書と関係がないだろう?

If we did evolve from monkeys then how come babies arent born monkeys? もし人間がサルから来たら、何で赤生まれたばっかりの赤ちゃんがサルじゃないの?

Please don't insult our intelligence by lumping science and technology together. They are as different at night and day.我々を馬鹿にするな。「理科」と「技術」が一緒として話すのが間違いです。まるまる違う分野です。

The only solution we have to stop gays from recruiting other people is to cut off the source. They need to be taken to specialized containment centers where they will be forced to become straight and accept Jesus as thier savior and to repent from their disgusting, wicket, hatful, devilish ways.ホモの人たちを自分のグループにさらに人をリクルートすることを止める為、源で潰すしかないです。専用監禁所にみんなを入れて、そこで異性愛者にさせて、イェズスが彼らを助けることを信じさせて、昔の悪魔っぽくてひどい生活を後悔させる必要があります。

To say the Bible was written by men and may contain inaccuracies completely contradicts the word of the Bible.聖書が人間に書かれて、間違えが入っている可能性あることを言うのが、聖書に書いてあることに矛盾する。

Secular music is my drug and when I listen to it (like right now), I'm showing personal defeat.異教徒アーティストの音楽が私の薬で、今のように聞く度、個人的な失敗です。


Finally, from American television:
(A make-up infomercial メークのCMで)A lot of people look at this and think 'How can a powder cover anything on my skin?' Well, first of all, this is not a powder. These are minerals taken from the earth, that happen to be in a powder form. 最初的によく言われることが、「粉なんて、肌のシミなどを隠せないだろう??」実は、粉ではない。地下から取られたミネラルで、粉の状態だけです(それでも粉やん!!)
There's strong, and then there's army strong 強いとういうと、「軍隊の強い」が最高だ。

Monday, January 14, 2008

21 Reasons My Brother Is Cooler Than Me

Speeches from Luke's 21st in November last year:

Start/Mum's greeting:


My speech:


Hopefully I'll add more later.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Visit to Target



My tribute to Mitch Hedberg.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Facebook: A Tombstone With a Picture Attached


Day 6 in America. What happened to Days 1 to 5? Oh come on. Don't bring maths into this. I'll give you a recap later.

Just arrived in San Diego. Watching Family Guy. Not new Family Guy of course; no such thing exists. Thanks a lot, AMPTP. You ruined everyone's Christmas.
Sorry, was just distracted there by one of those classssic quotes: "Coming up next: A pig that refuses to eat Jews?"
Ah, they don't make 'em like they used to. Especially when they don't make 'em at all.

The reason I felt a sudden urge to blog was this: political propaganda. In the midst of the election campaigns beginning to flare over here, one candidate sparked my eye. Barack Obama? No. Although I'm really confused about the commercial I saw the other day: "Barack Obama and the black vote: what it means to us". Who's us? Do you like him, or what? No wonder a guy like Bush can win elections: the media is convoluted as hell.

The candidate I'm interested, in reality, isn't actually a candidate at all. I'm not even sure what he is. But it's evident he hates the world today. Ladies & Gentlemen, Mr. Lyndon LaRouche. Proud author of seminars such as "Save the American Republic from the British Empire!", or, even more interestingly, "Is The Devil in Your Laptop?"
See, where I'm from, "The Devil" doesn't hit home like it apparently does here. I really couldn't care less if someone thought the devil was in my laptop. But it does provide some rather entertaining reading with topics when the introduction claims that "There is a mass-based fascist movement on college campuses, today," and this is the "greatest threat to the survival of [the US]". Even more fun when the 3 ugly heads of evil in this case are:
1. Myspace
2. Facebook
3. Computer Games (ie. "homicidal maniac versions")

I might be inclined to agree that myspace is at least some kind of evil, but more in the "cultural garbage" kind of way. But hey, I'm biased, and not a 14 year old emo kid. To each their own.
Similarly, some kids shouldn't go anywhere near violent video games until they've had enough social conditioning to know that violence is bad, (mmkay). But once you get past that, GTA is the most fun game I've ever played. And I certainly never felt like going out and stealing a car and running over hookers with it.

But the big one for me was: Facebook? Maybe "potential breeding ground for stalkers", but "Tombstone"? As in, thing to tell people where you're buried? Eh?

Sorry, got distracted again. Ad for Viagra. Not that I'm keen, but what caught my attention was that half the ad was telling you the side-effects and usage warnings. "May cause abnormal vision." Yes. As may really good sex.

So, what does Nick Walsh, author of the Facebook-is-evil article and loving disciple of LaRouche have to say? Well, he says Facebook is less of a "social graph", and more of a "mind control site, now directed by mass killer enthusiast Bill Gates". Generally, the article, and the whole propaganda pamphlet itself is saying that "globalisation" is bad. So me having contact with my mates around the world - whom I probably would never get the chance to chat to or call again - is satanic rot, and I should go wash my soul with heavy duty hermitage soap.
Facebook is bad because a few times some weird people met some gullible people (who were also probably a bit odd) and then someone got killed. This also happens at bars, on street corners, and even occasionally in movie theatres. Somehow I don't think it's Facebook's fault that screwed-up people want to abuse it.

Some other fellow in this Youth Movement pamphlet goes on to tell me that Wikipedia is bad because Jimmy Wales (founder) once ran a soft-core porn site. I dispute the evidence, but even if I saw decent proof, I don't think I'd care. Soft core porn is not the "greatest threat to the survival of our nation." And even if you think all that's a bit evil, wouldn't you say that going on from soft-core porn to a free global information database, was a bit of a recompense for past sins? If I was of that kind of belief, I'd say he's earned his "forgiveness".
They go on to say Wiki is evil because it trashed their idol, LaRouche himself. Wikipedia certainly gets a little subjective when it comes to people or political organisations. But I think they try hard to present at least most of the facts, certainly more than I'd expect from daily newsgroups, let alone conspiracy theorist propaganda.

Quite possible this kind of senseless drivel is commonplace where you're from, but I'm used to most people having a little more liberal sense. It gets me angry and makes me laugh at the same time, but at the end of the day, it just makes me feel so much smarter than so many people in the world. Ego-trip aside, they do get one important message across: Don't believe everything you read.