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Regardless of how much I despise Idol celebrities in Japan, I'll always have a place in my pants heart for Aki Hoshino.
Disclaimer: This post may give you hairy palms.

I've had this post material for a while, since Mio and I stayed at a hotel in central Osaka during one of my weekend returns from China last year. It might not be the smartest of subject material, seeing as two of my regular readers happen to be my mother and my girlfriend. But hey - its the 21st century, and if you can't talk about porn, you tend to alienate yourself from 90% of young male conversation.

The place we stayed at had a pay-per-view TV, along with a few movies and the free weather/news channels, one of the channels was not-so-conspicuously named "Flamingo 903". Sounds like a Miami radio station. But no, this was an AV channel.

At the time Mio and I had a giggle at the "August lineup" brochure in the room, informing the horny guest of the highlights in the scheduling. I took it home, thinking you all might be interested to know what you were missing out on.

All month the headline feature appears to be "Wet wet housewife", but there is some more eclectic programming if you're into it. Roleplaying wives include "Working wife: 'Sex after working hard all day is the best!'", "What do you do with a drunken wife?"
A little darker is "A girl I like is getting defiled before my eyes but all I can do is get a hard-on", "'Ahh! Mom, stop! I'm your son!' - Omnibus".
Or there's the more educational "I want to go to an expensive brothel at least once!".
If arrogance is your thing, you may want to check out "Dude, I banged my mates mom so many times..."
(I'm going to have to end this explanation, the talk of incest is beginning to get to me. I mean, I know it's 'the family game', but come on)

AV payperview in hotels is something not unique to Japan, but certainly it seems to be a regular feature. Japanese porn in general, in fact, is a surprising and almost ironic common cameo in life here. I mean, this is the country that doesn't have open-mouthed kissing in movies or public television. And yet some form of double-standard means that one can see full frontal bare-breasted women in daily newspapers read by businessmen on the train. The same country in which people don't regularly hug in the street due to embarrassment has cafeterias in which the girls wear short skirts and deliberately create situations to "accidentally" show their underwear. It also has some of the strangest adult entertainment available (including "hentai" anime porn), and they blur genitalia on even the dirtiest movies.

You may think my mother would be shocked by this, but this is not only the woman who said she'd rather have my kids watch a movie with sex in it than one with violence. She's also no stranger to Japanese hotel porn: when her and Alan visited we stayed at a hotel in Hiroshima, where while trying to find the baseball on TV, I inadvertently flicked over to a channel where a woman was vacuuming in a topless maid outfit. Her pirked curiousity still haunts me to this day.

Let me point out that I'm not porno-obsessed, though I'm happy to admit that I'll watch it, though not in groups of horny men, and none of that extra-curricular nonsense (see: scatology). I do think that porn is healthy (in moderation), and I don't think guys who watch it are unfaithful to their girlfriends. As Jen recently pointed out to me (I think it was a Tyra Banks quote), "Doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home." While I'm sure that was scripted, I'm very impressed, Tyra.

Finally, before you all think Japan is sick and twisted with their crazy adult entertainment, may I draw your attention to one of the growing markets of Japanese animated porn: Mio and I found "My classmates mother" in a DVD store in San Diego. Poor mothers. It appears everyone wants to be a motherfucker these days.
The tongue is purely acting. I'm actually just amused