Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I sense a theme


Warning: We here at Machine Gun サラリーマン accept not responsibility for mutilating dance music.

So I'm back-dating this post, as I never actually wrote it at the end of September, but for sake of records it should probably exist.

Continuing on with my endeavour to learn how to DJ, my second mixtape is loosely based around a theme of...well, themes. Theme tunes, to be precise. Admittedly only a third of the tracks in this mix have any relation to TV & movie music, but hey, Will Smith's I, Robot only contains around 3 lines from its namesake written back in the day by Isaac Asimov. Sue me*.

It's full of bangers and might not really be home listening material, but I'm sure it kills on your own in the car (or while playing COD4 or whatever it is kids do these days).
Mix here(mediafire)

Tracklist

Barry Gray - Thunderbirds Theme
Major Lazer - Pon De Floor (Chewy Chocolate Cookies Remix)
Midfield General - Sirens (Boy 8-Bit Remix)
Grum - Heartbeats
Fake Blood - The Dozens
Gossip - Love Long Distance (Fake Blood Remix)
Wes - Alane (Legobeat Remix)
D.I.M. - Lyposuct
Cyperpunkers - Check This Out (Chewy Chocolate Cookies Remix)
Pola-Riot - Superpimpin'
Kill Frenzy - 54321
Bumblebeez - Rio (Boy 8-Bit Remix)
Stardust - Music Sounds Better With You (Pola-Riot Remix)
Jack Beats - UFO (K-Hole Riddim)
Lea Luna - Leaving For Mars (B. Rich Remix 128)
Torqux n Twist - Doom's Night Dub
Metronomy - Radio Ladio (Radioclit Swedish Remix)
Tiga - What You Need (Zombie Nation Remix)
Jakwob - Wild Pitch
Douster - King Of Africa
Birdy Nam Nam - Parachute Ending
...
Pascal & Pearce - Disko Biskit



*Don't actually sue me. That would make you a cock.

Monday, September 07, 2009

The King Says Dance

Warning: This post has one of the best montages of kids dancing I've seen in a long time.

I like this. Do you like this? You should like this.

Friday, September 04, 2009

The Return


This post is back. Back again. Yeah, it's back. Tell a friend.


What do the above wonderful people have in common? Well, they're all nice enough to put aside a little time to come to Tokyo and play for the masses at Warp's 20th anniversary gig @Makuharu Messe, presented by electraglide.

For those of you who haven't heard of electraglide, their annual flagship gig in November was the premier electro event in Japan for many a year. Playing in Osaka and Tokyo, the likes of The Prodigy, Underworld, 2manydjs, !!!, Carl Cox, Tiga, Tim Deluxe, Darren Emerson, Sharam Jey, Coldcut, Sasha, Orbital, Vitalic, Fatboy Slim and X-Press2 laid it out each year.
But suddenly in 2006, there was no more electraglide.

I hit the 2004 gig, and have been waiting for another chance since then. The fact that I missed Underworld at the 05 gig (and twice more since then) haunts me. Even the excellent showcase of French electro that GanBan put on last year didn't quench my appetite. We wanted the 'glide back.

This years lineup is far from being fully announced yet, but so far it looks worth making the trip to Tokyo for (sorry Osaka, no show for you this year - story of our life). I'm not familiar with Battles but I'm being told that I should be. Flying Lotus had the Essential Mix of the Year in 2008, and !!! are always fun. But probably the biggest pull for me is Chris Cunningham. Not quite sure what to expect from the music, but the visuals should be intense.

Tickets have been out in pre-sale windows, and go on general sale tomorrow. Consider mine booked.

My Package


Warning: This post doesn't meet local standard dimensions.

So the folks are coming to Japan, and ipso facto my mother is frantically searching for what chunk of the homeland she can fit in her suitcase to bring over for me. She has a habit of sending whatever she can to me, magazines and chocolate being staple additions. Being 25 this all makes me feel a bit molly-coddled, but she seems to enjoy it, and hey, care-packages are always nice.

But I'm struggling to think about what I want from home. Sure, there's loads of stuff I love when I come back - most of them foods - but a lot of that doesn't travel well. She's promised some baking, which I am looking well forward to. Alcohol-wise, I'm still 2.25 bottles short of finishing the South gin my wonderful friends brought in August. So what else?

Would it be weird if I asked my parents to buy condoms for me?

Yeah, probably would be.

It's just that the Japanese ones tend to be a) made of this rubber that feels more like a small balloon than latex, and as such tends to shun lubrication rather too well, and b) - I'm not bragging, promise - they tend to be a little on the small side.
Without wanting to think too hard about it, I'm sure Japanese cock is more than satisfying, but it does seem to have a median a bit lower than my equipment. TMI, I know.
Just like with low overheads in doorways, I fail to see why they don't just make all condoms longer. A short guy can walk through a tall doorway, but a tall guy has to duck a lower one. A "short" guy can wear a longer rubber, but "longer" guys can't wear shorter ones (without it looking like the cock is wearing a hoodie with exposed midriff - now I KNOW I've gone too far with the mental imagery). Maybe they save a few square cm of materials, but come on.

Rodney recently found some "XL" condoms in the local supermarket, but I'm not sure if I can bring myself to buy protection with an elephant/horse/whale shark on the cover. However is asking Mum to pop down the chemists for 5 packs of Durex really the lesser evil?

I might just wait til I'm home in December.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

ExhAugusted

Sexified
Warning: This post has nothing worth warning you about in it.
So August has come and gone, and my summer is basically over. I'd say the end came just after Mr. Chris's visit around Obon, as I spent the rest of the month in China. Looking back, it was all a bit intense:
Leaving Crew
- The locals of the last year all began to depart back to their countries of origin, and we lost a few good men and women. Still, I increased my potential locations to crash while travelling, if one is looking on the bright side. See you soon guys.
Summer Sonic
- Jake arrived and we hit Summer Sonic, which I was too busy to even do a delayed "live blog" for. If you're feeling ripped off, Jake's report on it sums the 2 days up well. While I missed Soulwax and Birdy Nam Nam, I did get to see NIN in their last tour (who were most excellent), and Aphex Twin, who was also quite intense. Boo-urns to Phoenix and Placebo for letting little things like their health get in the way of playing - you shall be redeemed when you come back for a separate tour. All in all, not as good as Fuji, but at least my clothes didn't get permanent mudstains.

- Jake left, to be replace by another certain Wellytownian. Chris and I, along with a tiny but fierce Swiss girl trekked down to Shikoku to Tokushima's Awa Odori. Thousands of dancers, tens of thousands of tourists, a warm evening by a river and more taiko than you can shake a drumstick at. Good times, though as our host was right to point out, it's OK to watch, but much more fun to do. And do I...uh...did.

- Chris moved on to bigger things (Europe), but not before getting his karaoke on - good times. Then I was left with 2 precious nights with the missus, one of which I had couch surfers, the other one she had work. Fantastic. Oh well - off to China.

- Various work-related crises overted, I return home to find my cellphone bill for roaming in China is 94,000yen. 940USD. 9 Bajillion New Zealand Dollars. Oh well - not using the iPhone overseas again...

- I made a mix of some tracks I got in August, and some tracks I've wanted to hear in a mix but haven't. It's terribly amateur at times, the volume needs normalising for starters, but hey it's a start. Start of what? We'll see, if I actually do continue trying to mix music. The mix is here.

- Somewhere in between China and coming back, all the Gaidai exchange students left, so now I have no friends I can pretend to be 20 with.

- Mio left for Spain for 3 weeks, completing my bereavement and leaving me with a next-door-neighbour, 2 random german guys crashing at my house and 3 bottles of South gin. Dangerous parameters.

September is gunning to be 3 weeks of recuperation, abstinence, exercise and work, with a final week with the parentals on a 5 day tiki tour of Japan. All of which are well needed.